The Overconsumption of Carolyn Bessette & John F Kennedy Jr.
Abramsbooks.comCBK: Carolyn Bessette Kennedy A Life In Fashion By Sunita Kumar Nair
Written by: Abla Gorashi
Okay, have you guys watched the new Ryan Murphy’s Love Story series based on Carolyn Bessette & and John F Kennedy Jr? It is a popular series that everyone is hooked on. It’s the #1 Hulu series right now. As someone who is obsessed with Carolyn Bessette’s style, I find myself wondering, what was she really like? Did she view herself as ‘mysterious’ like the rest of the world saw her as? Did she understand her own beauty the way America sees her beauty?
For many years, we came across many documentaries/books about the Carolyn & John F Kennedy love story & bibliographies about Carolyn Bessette’s written by different authors. We also see many videos of her walking in the streets of New York, attending fancy events, pictures of her alongside her Calvin Klein colleagues, and those close to her including her wedding pictures. But we only saw a few videos of her speaking, which in total is less than a minute. While obsessing with her style and her personality, I realized America doesn’t know anything about her, but It feels like we do. We only know her based on her loved ones stories, but all we can do is visualize what she was really like. It is like seeing the same model laughing, smiling, and anxious through multiple photos taken by paparazzi. The pictures are silent, because we can only imagine what the reason is for different expressions that the model shows through those photos. Next thing you know, we all have the same presumptions about her facial expression, and we become obsessed with those same presumptions 28 years later. That is how America sees Carolyn Bessette.
As for John F Kennedy Jr., we can research about him and see his desire in politics, speeches, and interviews. He’s been in the public eye for decades before meeting Carolyn. He created his own magazine company called ‘George Magazine’. He wanted to include politics with entertainment, something that we do on a daily basis at this time of day through social media and red carpets. We know his failures and successes. Not all of them but some that are relatable for most law graduates’ experience, like failing the bar exam. The world knew his personality he portrayed publicly since before he even knew that he was watched by the media at such a young age.
When it comes to Carolyn and John’s love story, we know absolutely nothing about it. Only to some extent, but even pictures and videos of them together can’t give us a general idea about them. They’ve smiled and communicated with people, some while Carolyn’s hand is holding onto his arm, sitting on his lap with a big smile, and walking together in the cold chill air of New York. Again, we can only visualize what their relationship was like. We’re obsessed with a relationship that may not have been good. Some close friends of theirs say that they were going through a downhill phase of their relationship. But what if they were getting better, and didn’t tell loved ones. I’ve known many couples that don’t talk about their relationships with me or their peers. It’s a common thing when it comes to relationships, friendships, family business, etc. Some do, but don’t give any updates after sharing with one’s they know.
There are so many questions I have about their love story, and especially Carolyn Bessette as an individual. My theory is, we don’t make presumptions about her because she chose to keep herself private, or because the couple kept their relationship on the low, but because what we want to believe and what they seem to portray in front of the media is something most people desire personally. Being mysterious, having a relationship with someone while the media is obsessed with you more than you are to yourself, and having an unexpected love story.
Is Social Media The Cause of Break-Ups?
Written by: Abla Gorashi
Yes, social media may be the effect of relationship endings. From Tiktok, Instagram and Tinder, and whatever you name it. A recent relationship that has made headlines are Kristie and Desmond Scott.
A couple widely known in content creation on TikTok. This recent relationship breakup may be the cause of infidelity. Many people on social media platforms like Tiktok have assumed that Desmond may have gotten sick of Kristie’s content. When announcing their break up on his Instagram story, Desmond stated that he wanted to end the relationship last year.
The news shocked everyone, because they seemed to be a happy couple. Kristie’s content often included entertainment in which her husband seemed to have supported. She often wore dramatic clothing,
and her husband would react to it in a laughing manner. That resulted in millions of views on many of her TikTok videos.
Most people primarily focus on their content than usual if they had gained a massive following, and are now receiving an income. Maybe the stress of being posted on TikTok based on Desmond’s reaction is wearing off, but regardless the family has to make some income, right?
This begs to question whether social media is ending relationships.
It has not been 100% confirmed by the couple that cheating was involved. Others think that it has been confirmed by him, but reading through his announcement, we only know that he has made decisions that he is not proud of, and the relationship is over.
Sometimes posting content based on your relationship may not just be the cause. Sometimes it’s jealousy that contributes. Oftentimes, a like on someone’s photo could indicate that you “like” the person even when you are in a relationship. Or seeing your partner’s following list on Instagram, and noticing he’s following a bikini lover.
About 23 % percent of social media users have felt skeptical with how their partners interact with others, which can be the cause of trust issues. That rises to 34 % from 18-29 year olds.
This research was conducted by Pew Research Center in 2019, which results may have risen over the years. They conducted a survey based on adult relationships regarding patterns, experience and attitude in digital technology in romantic relationships. About 4,860 U.S adults participated in the survey.
Do Motivational Speakers Speak for Money
By: Abla Gorashi
Every once in a while, you doom scroll on TikTok, and end up seeing a video titled “2026 will be your year” or the infamous “share for good luck”. I don’t believe that my goals will happen solely based on sharing a video that suggests I should for goals purposes.
Many people specifically depend on YouTube for motivational videos or TikTok. On YouTube, they often visit channels such as WizardLiz, Mel Robbins, Leila Hormozi, etc, Some of which gained a lot of success due to their videos increasing in views, gaining an increase of millions of subscribers. But do these motivational speakers care to change other lives or are they solely giving out advice to receive money?
Many expressed whether these speakers are genuine, with one comedy TikTok called “Motivational Speakers when talking about chasing their dreams”, where a TikTok user “Jet” dramatically impersonates motivational speakers to specify how those speakers often say things that seem unrealistic, one user comments “And they always have some course you can buy for $4999”
A similar topic in “Quora” in discuss on motivational speakers grabbing your attention based on advice, one user states that many of those speakers often bring up the fact that they had “nothing” to grab your attention due to the rise of humans yearning for something different in their lives, and that technique helps get those audiences’ attention.
In an article from Market Research.com “ The Richest Self-Improvement Experts and Motivational Speakers by John LaRose, written in 2023, states that “17 motivational speakers, 2022 revenues are estimated by Marketdata at $368 million”
Most motivational speakers often talk about having to have everything solely based on their company they created. When you look at a motivational speaker, whether they are podcasters, YouTubers, etc, you often don’t think they gain as much money in giving advice to others as they do in having their own company, or revenue. You think they are giving advice in their free time. That’s not the case to some. Some gain sponsorships from mental health services such as “BetterHelp” often advertised by WizardLiz. So which leads to the question whether these speakers are truly giving out advice to help you or to gain profit and money.
Are you feeling nostalgic? Be prepared to face the feeling.
My Girlfriend, My Girlfriend.
A show that makes you forget they are acting.
By Abla Gorashi
I first discovered this show in 2021 during quarantine as a way for me to paint and watch a show at the same time.
This is one of those shows where you wish you were a millennial or older in experiencing watching this show in real time.
it’s too relatable and Joan’s character is the most relatable one out of the four. Why?
Because she’s indecisive. We’re all indecisive in our own lives.
She’s not one of those characters in a show where they get angry and choose the wrong love interest and then at the end of an episode it’s all “everything turned out great at the end and everything is fine” type of character.
That’s also the same with the other cast members.
My favorite episode of “Girlfriends” is the one where Joan cuts Tony off for sharing a secret she wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about on Joan’s partner dealing with sex addiction. Tony shared that secret with Joan’s boss. That boss later discussed it to Joan while she was on her shift without knowing that it was a secret to begin with.
She confronts Tony and cuts her off, not just because of this issue but because Tony has always disrespected Joan and was not always a good friend to her and that situation was her last straw.
That was my favorite episode because it describes exactly how it feels to cut someone off because of their behaviors but also you don’t hate them. In one episode, Joan realizes that she doesn’t need to pick up Tony from work that she usually does on a daily basis because they are no longer speaking to one another. Joan cries after realizing this because regardless of Tony’s careless action, she still loves her.
It goes to show that you don’t just hate someone you once had a bonding relationship with for being bitch, because you deadass still love the em like a sister. They’re just careless and you know it is not healthy to deal with them.
Feeling Guilty For resting or doing nothing
By Abla Gorashi
Have you ever felt guilty for not being productive, that’s me right now. I recently graduated college and it’s been difficult in being productive. I’m in a constant battle on whether I’m doing enough or If I’m just lazy.
I have always been a slightly lazy person when it comes to my free time. I recently tried to change my routine and walk outside and working out everyday which I mostly have been doing. At first it was great. Once I got used to doing that routine that was now considered my comfort routine. What my brain thinks is “oh that’s now equivalent to you being in bed all day” my brain never makes sense.
Now that I am getting rejected many times from jobs, I am always thinking to myself, walking is not enough anymore in being productive. I should be productive in working at a job and getting paid. Not walking around the block.
My mind is constant battle in what I don’t have and if I do feel satisfied it is temporary. If I’m too active then me resting is “lazy”
it’s insane how our minds are our biggest bully. And then it’s only up to us to stop the bully from attacking us.
Yes, It’s the phone.
By Abla Gorashi
Lately, I have been disconnected from reaching my goals. Actually, scratch that I have always been disconnected by my goals because of my phone
As I gotten older I have compared my life to the life of others with success, money and fame. I often say “oh I wish I was as rich as them”
To be honest, our phone plays a big part in that. Social media users has increased rapidly due to the easy access we have on those apps due to our smartphones. We can use instagram,twitter, TikTok anywhere at any time rather than using it only on a computer like how MySpace was in the 2000s.
Usually when people say “do not compare yourself to others on social media” I always thought that it was stupid that people would do that in the first place. I thought it meant comparing our bodies to instagram models or a successful person’s lifestyle and that was it.
I WAS WRONG. Yes that can also be the case in comparison, but really even when we get excited in seeing someone’s success in fame and money, we often obsess over their lifestyle without focusing on how to reach that goal.
We see them on our feed and say “I wish I had their life” but we also daydream that life while it feeds us those content in our feed and we forget that we need to start those goals because we often just imagine it. I don’t know about you guys, but for me that is how my brain works.
I’m still having this issue, so no you’re not gonna get a happy ending from me in recovering from this. But today is day 1 in not doing those habits and ACTUALLY start my goals.
Pray for me that I don’t doom scroll after this is published.
Maladaptive daydreaming of the rich life
By Abla Gorashi
As someone who has OCD, I am constantly at battle in being social and outside, but I want to become rich with money and rich with a social life.
I often imagine being rich and living my best life from staying in LA to going to New York to work for my own company. In my head my “company” is not specific.
I also imagine my company as a fashion brand or an editorial brand like my own fashion editorial company like VOGUE! Yes, vogue okay? I have every right to be delusional. Call me crazy, I don’t care.
You know what my philosophy is? EVERYBODY has MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING.
I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t have this ‘condition’ if that’s what it is called. There is no way you are completely satisfied with the life you have.
We all want something no matter how good our lives are.
I daydream about being friends with specific celebrities and also networking with people.
Lastly I imagine myself as untouchable while being rich. Like an icon everyone praises.
At this point I imagine myself as Miranda Presley.
Carolyn Bassette’s style and legacy
By Abla Gorashi
She wasn’t a typical “pick me,” she was a confident woman with her own career and pathway. She grew up in a stable household and went to a private school with her sisters. She had parents who cared about her education. She was a woman of style without even trying to be. Long blond hair, brown winter coat, leather black purse, perfect headband, Thin sunglasses.
Carolyn Bassette was not an ordinary girl. She worked as a publicist for Calvin Klein. I know what you’re thinking. “She’s a badass”. Listen, I think that she would have become a full-time model. She modeled temporally, I believe, in the 80s or early 90s.
What strikes me about Carolyn Bassette is that she is exactly the woman that I want to become. It’s not good to idolize people, but with Carolyn, she had a sophisticated beauty and light in her existence and style. She wasn’t just known to be married to John F Kennedy Jr. She was a fashion icon to the girls of fashion.
What strikes me about her also would be her nose. I may be crazy for saying this, but she had an ‘almost Middle Eastern nose’. In our beauty industry, now we often have our Middle Eastern peers hate on their nose. To me, it is an absolute beauty. From their thick eyeliner to their gold jewels and much more. We will talk about that in my next unfiltered article.
Carolyn had a nose that we as a society refer to as “ugly” or “big,” when in reality, she gave a striking image that is unforgettable because of her natural beauty.
I always love looking back at her nonchalant style. No matter how her hair looked, her elegant style played a big role
Carolyn’s all black style was her signature color. From the pencil skirt to the simple long-sleeved top to the elegant, classy black dress with gloves that she had on.
“In a sense, Carolyn’s experience was a larger-than-life version of many of the impossible standards that women face. You must be chaste, but you cannot be frigid or prudish. You must be beautiful, but you cannot care about being such. You must never be angry, even if people (or in Carolyn’s case, the tabloids) spread lies about you.”
Quote by:Elizabeth Beller from Upon a Time: The Captivating Life of Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy
I’m scared to post content……
By Abla Gorashi
Growing up, I was never scared of embarrassing myself. I didn’t care how messy I was. To the point where I would rewear the same black Aaliyah sweater that my cousin got me for Christmas EVERY SINGLE DAY. Call me dirty, I don’t care. I didn’t care what people may perceive of me because I knew that their opinions are not facts, and the only opinion that matters is how god perceives of me.
Now I get scared to even post content on social media because I fear that people I know will judge and think I have no life, which is true, but I don’t want them to think that. Scratch that, I do have a life, but oftentimes I feel like everyone that I know of doesn’t have a personality as wide as mine.
So if they see me using my personality to post content on social media, they will look at my videos and think, “why is she trying to be an influencer?? She’s barely getting likes.”
I care about what they think because I often times I want them to think that I am doing great, which I am, but not within their expectations.
What’s crazy is I shouldn’t care because they could still be judging on where I am at no matter what. LITERALLY NO MATTER WHAT. I could be a doctor, and they will still judge me for not fixing my short eyebrows.
So, needless to say, stop caring what people think because they could be judging you even if you are just standing still. So I am going to post content and be myself in different aspects of my life. Obviously that’s easier said than done! So I am still working on it.
Abla Gorashi 